Entry 3
I stood near the back of the bus holding on to the overhead support as hard as I could. It was ridiculously unstable. I glanced at it in annoyance. What is the point of making a bloody stabilizing contraption the most flimsy thing in the world? I shook my head and glanced back down. A woman sat in front of me. I shot a quick look at her face and met her eyes staring back at me. Green eyes. Or hazel. I don't know. I looked away quickly. I was never good with stare-me-down contests. Or eye colour. I stared down at my toes, then up at the overhead support, then down at my toes again. It was awkward. I was awkward. Every single day. It was the same. If I got a seat, good. I could stare down at the floor or out the window. If I didn't, well crap, because in a bus your eyes can never rest on a point too long, because almost every point is occupied by someone. Stupid points. Desperate to give my eyes a rest, I crouched down a bit to be able to look through the window behind the green-eyed woman. Hazel-eyed. Greenish-hazel. I must have looked a bit strange with one arm securing my bag on my shoulder, the other stretched to its limit clutching the overhead and my whole body tensed in this semi-crouch, because the woman shot me a confused look. I didn't care. I didn't like closed spaces. And my eyes needed rest. The window was my only escape. So I stared. At the city. At the people. Somehow, everyone was in a rush. People passing each other. No eye contact whatsoever. That was taboo! Come on! Annoyed looks and frustrated whispers floated around whenever the person in front was walking slightly slower. No one had time. No one wanted time. Time was an enemy. Time was running down as the sun got higher and higher. The sun was an accomplice of time and it was looked at in anger. In panic. I looked at it. It was high enough to just peak through the rooftops of the tall buildings. Not skyscrapers, I thought. They weren't tall enough. The sun got through. It was a spear of blinding light piercing through the cool morning air. Scattering a million illuminating shards here and there. Like little fireflies. Wherever they landed, it would be a little brighter. A little happier. I sighed. The woman looked up. I looked down. She looked away. Maybe not happier. My eyes snapped back to the window. I saw a kindergarten school building. Hmmm. Why haven't I seen that before? My gaze wandered over its corners and doors. Over its stones and bricks. Then I realised that I had that I had seen it before. Every single day, since I took the same bus. And every single day, I forgot ever seeing it. Right. It was sad. They had made one of the most optimistic establishments in someone's educational future extremely forgettable. I thought it was tragic. I might have been overreacting, but it was definitely sad. I looked at the school as the bus pulled away. Keeping my eyes on it till I couldn't see it anymore. Hoping to commit it to my memory. Knowing I'd forget about it tomorrow. It angered me. The future should never be forgettable. We wouldn't have anything left.As I stared out of my window, my mind slightly disturbed, greenish-hazel eyes stood up. She looked at me once. Telling me to kindly stop being strange and to move out of her way. I straightened myself and felt my muscles protest. Looking down at my feet, I stepped back a bit. Giving her room. Giving her authority. She took it. Lifted her chin, waited till the bus came to a complete stop and stalked past me. Relieved, I plopped into the seat she had just vacated.
posted by Arien @ 8:06 am
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